Out with Frosty and in with Phil!

Frosty and I are not friends!  Kids may love you, but I hate you!  You took the button right off my favorite pea coat - the one I felt so chic and slim in.  “Tis the season,” is the old Christmas holiday adage yet it still seems appropriate in February.  When does this part of the season end?  I mean, if the Christmas tree couldn't go into the New Year then how did you sneak a peek?  When do you go away, for good?  Well, potentially tomorrow!  Tomorrow is Groundhog’s day!  The infamous day that Phil Punxsutawney - the famous groundhog, wakes his booty up after a long winter sleep and makes his prediction for the remainder of winter.  It's almost like he’s slept off a hangover for the entire winter after a drink of the magical punch that he receives every summer during the Annual Groundhog Picnic giving him 7 more years of life.  Hmm, I wonder what’s in the punch?  Was it an Eggnog martini spiked with brandy to warm up during the winter months or was it more like a polar cocktail with Gin and maraschino liqueur?

As Phil wakes up out his pseudo coma and prepares to finally leave his burrow to observe the weather conditions, I wonder a few things…  Does he hop out of bed and run for the burrow’s opening as if he’s running to catch the last train to town?  Or does he hit the snooze button a few times as if he can’t believe it’s already February 2^nd and he just needs a few more minutes before his 7:20 start time?  Since groundhogs are vegetarians, does he snack on leftover grass before he heads out for the day because the flowers have yet to bloom?  Or is he down there whistling, trying to see if he can score a “young tender roni” to set the New Year off right?  You do know groundhogs whistle when they are alarmed and when they begin to court in the spring.

Well, tomorrow at Gobblers Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, Phil will start his first day of work!  He will check for his shadow!  Geeze, what a job?  If that were my only job in life, could I get it right?  Would I oversleep?  Or would I just act like I saw the shadow and never even report to work – as statistics show that 90% of the time, Phil sees his shadow anyway. 

I’ll tell you this, “I cannot wait!”  I’m ready to rid Frosty of his duties and let the sun shine in!  So hopefully, tomorrow will be cloudy and shadowless in Punxsutawney and Phil will hop on out of bed, run on out the burrow, and take it as a sign of spring! 

Go ahead Phil - I grant my permission!  Don’t be afraid, take a blind eye to the sun, stay above ground, violate curfew, and look for some fresh greens!  Do whatever you gotta do just don’t return to that hole thus giving me six more weeks of bad weather!